Ry Frazier 

Polaroid Paranoia
 

wish i'd captured the minute

moments between here &

hereafter, shoulda saved

them like photographs on fire,

polaroid paranoia.

i'd kill to save the centuries

sought after by kings & thieves,

up my sleeve is a laundry list

of good intentions,

i swear.

creation crumbles, my eyes set

as cement on your lips,

your words intoxicate,

verbal wine,

it's hard to stand up.

it's a terrible time for

this to end, your emotional

expenses & expanses seem

eclipsed, sitting hidden behind

the snow wall.

it's too cold to feel.

it's too cold to feel.

your little hands

rest

by

your sides,

all i can do is apologize

for it,

i haven't been able to

shake that shiver from your

step.

left foot, right foot--

we balance below the safety of sunshine.

october,

leaves like fallen figures rest

restlessly

on amber, orange ground.

we're sad soldiers, this war

which we've begun

can never be won.

as you spit bitter sentiments,

if you'd bothered to be bothered

you would've seen the remnants refusing

to gladly grasp onto one more

minute.

when i was younger i found a tree &

called it my own.

swore sweetly to a sky dyed

salmon & tangerine that i'd

never leave.

i brought you there,

hair

barren

black,

attacked with a sudden sadness as

the sun splashed forward.

your perfect silhouette sitting still.

i thought our hearts beat together.

i guess it fell apart.

photographs on fire,

the flames burn higher

we turn to ash and

time ticks on and

on and

on and

off.

all i have is the

pitiful

presence

of

polaroid

paranoia. 
 

between spoken tones skeletons play,

dancing as splinters of marionettes,

to drowned & dazed demigods.

another stiff hit to angel's throat before

we close our eyes for tonight;

addicts with arms to the skies, trail marks as

life-maps, stories lost to tonight's

ashen magnificence.

we - we'll desensitize former

assumptions, we're reborn anti-heroes

& antagonists.

the pyres burn blue, the smoke

a lactescent serpent crawling still further

towards the end.

"it's all the end", you whisper, as we

brush noses & your kiss feels like

a head-on collision.

you make lips bruise & bleed

you are the redeemer

i thought we'd given up the ghost,

i hear you're still haunting.

i refuse to be a ghoul, never

will i be turned away from the heat

of our home, skin wind burned,

frost bitten, we feel grey & blue

you are my coffin.

as a child i had my fun.

i recall war huts & imaginary battles.

false ferocity.

i can still smell the fort's huge pine roof,

hanging precariously above us,

it looked like a rainforest canopy.

now it's decayed to dust, much like us.

as i retrace the steps of my childhood

i smile and realize today will one day

be a fond memory

eating @ my brain

like

then

does.